A Little Perspective, Please!

It has been a crazy summer!  I had some weird idea that things would slow down once the lazy days of summer came, but I haven't seen many lazy days! (except the few we were down with the stomach bug - not my idea of lazy!)  This week, in particular, has felt very overwhelming!  As I sat down today to look through my writing journal and update my blog, I came across this entry from May 3.  I wrote it shortly before the summer began, and it fits today perfectly!  I needed to read this today - maybe you need some perspective too?

May 3, 2012
It has been one of those days...OK, maybe one of those weeks!  The housework is piling high, the kids are at each other's throats, and no matter how many deep breaths I take or timeouts I give myself it just doesn't seem like enough! 

It's times like this when I start to hear all those familiar self-accusations well up inside.  "You aren't patient enough with your kids!"  "You are a bad example to them - you're yelling at them for the same things you do!"  And the whopper - "You are failing as a wife or Mother."  Now, I know these things aren't true (at least not entirely) but as an imperfect person walking through a day when the demands are extremely high, the progress is hardly noticeable and the atmosphere is slightly less chaotic than a zoo, it's hard not to give in and believe the lies. 

It takes effort not to begin to crumble under the demands and pressure of motherhood.  That's exactly how I feel today.  My prayers are more like moans for help and heavy sighs.  I've admitted to God that I don't even know what I need right now because the exhaustion is so deep.  But as I sat down at the computer to catch up on emails and tasks for the day there was a post from a friend about a young mom with 2 very sick children.

Perspective.

That's what I needed!  The prayers that I couldn't find words for earlier welled up in my heart as prayers of comfort and healing for that sweet family.  It also filled me with thanksgiving that my weariness is from breaking up fights and cleaning up messes and not from standing over a hospital bed watching my babies suffer. 

I am so glad that God knew I needed a good dose of perspective today!  I am also thankful that he gives us the gift of talking with him.  Even though I am hundreds of miles away and have never met this mother, I can lift her up to the God that loves her and will carry her through.

Lord, when I'm tempted to forget what's truly important, please give me a good dose of perspective so I can see what really matters is not always what is visible.

2 Corinthians 4:18
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Faithfulness in the "In-Between"

Last January I joined a small group of ladies from my Sunday School class for a small group bible study. At the time I was in a place in my life that was very "in-between" seasons.  We had only recently started attending this church and weren't entirely sure this is where we would stay so we were in between churches.  I had just had my second child and was still adjusting to life as a mother of two - in between stages of motherhood.  My life consisted of (what seemed like) mundane everyday tasks - dishes, laundry, diapers, nursing, naps (or lack thereof) and "trying" to get dinner on the table.  Nothing very exciting or noteworthy, yet I was so drained I felt I was barely making it through each day!  Survival was my chief goal. 

But as I studied with these ladies, I felt God calling me to more than I was expecting of myself.  Several times during those months I came across Psalm 37:3 where it says to "...dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness."  I felt God asking me to be faithful to Him even in times like these that seemed dry or even weary and draining.  He says He cares about all of my daily struggles - even if it is just trying to maintain my sanity between the housework that is piling up and the kids that are screaming for my attention!  He wants me to bring all of these to Him instead of trying to handle them on my own.

 I have no idea why the King of the universe cares that the dropped lasagna was the breaking point of my day and made me finally give in to the tears, but He does!  In 1 Peter 5:7 He says "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."  He cares about it all...wow!  I want to be faithful to a God who cares so much for me! 

So what started marinating in my mind and heart over a year ago I now realize needs to be my life-long pursuit.  There are so many areas that I just get lazy in because I'm not seeing any results from my efforts or I feel that the tasks just aren't "important" enough for me to spend the time on them.   I want to be faithful with all he has given me and to invest all of that time and energy on cultivating faithfulness to the God who loves me!

Lord,
Thank you for loving me so completely!  Thank you for wanting me to bring all of my cares and burdens to you - even those that I think are silly or small.  Forgive me for being unfaithful with my time and resources.  Please teach me how to cultivate faithfulness right where I am.

Camping Out

In Biblestudy we have been studying the Israelite's journey out of Egypt.  Today in particular, their stop in the dessert at Mt. Sinai or "the mountain of God".  If you aren't familiar with this specific stop, it was as far from the land God had promised them as they could get.  They left Egypt and God led them in the opposite direction.  In Exodus 19:2 it says "...and there Israel camped in front of the mountain."  As the author of the study talked about how the Nation of Israel was far from their promised land, yet they camped out facing the mountain and waited, I was struck with the realization that I would not have unpacked and camped there.  I would most likely have been looking around (bags in hand) yelling, "Don't get too comfy - we're bound for the promise land, you know, and this surely isn't it!" 

In fact, I would go so far as to say that I am continually following God with my carry on luggage, just waiting for that big, spacious land flowing with abundance and comfort to come my way.  When it doesn't arrive I look around holding my bags and tell God "I'm ready to move on when you are - but I'm NOT getting comfy here!" I'm not sure if it's a symptom of our "mile-a-minute" culture where the food, entertainment, or information can't be delivered fast enough, or if maybe I'm just a bit hyper active and hard to please!  Either way, how can I really learn from Him and grow if I'm too busy holding luggage and looking at the map?  How can I let any lesson He teaches me really grow to fruition in my life if I am just nodding my head while my eyes are focused on what comes next.

Earlier today I was trying to give my son a lesson on dealing with his sister, but as I knelt and talked to him I noticed his eyes were focused passed me onto something else.  He was already moving on and didn't want to learn how to avoid a sibling blow-up in the future.  I was trying to be frustrated with him, but I could see myself in him too!  I often want God to help me solve my problems, but when it comes time to learn the lesson part of the problem, I'm already moving on and focusing my attention on the next thing.  I want to stop racing through life with my luggage dragging behind me and my eyes on the next destination.  I want to lean in to what God is doing and saying in my life right now.  Right here.  I'm ready to camp out at his feet and wait for Him to speak and work on my heart.  I'm ready to unpack and actually put some of my clothes in the drawers, I'm sure He'll give me plenty of time to pack up before He moves me on.  If not, I don't think it's stuff I need anyway :)